Friday, 4 September 2009

Rather You Than Me

The whole issue of our leaving South Africa and moving to New Zealand is proving to be a rather sensitive one. And it saddens me. Some people are finding it difficult to understand why we'd want to uproot ourselves like this. Why we would want to abandon all we know and are used to, to go and live in a place which won't feel like home for a good many years. Some struggle with why we are leaving them. Others struggle with why we are going. And I guess it is a senstive subject. I mean, we're leaving... We're just up and leaving. People ask us why. They want to know our reasons. And when we tell them, they do understand. But it causes unease. And sadness. And I get that. I feel touched that they are questioning our decision, or thinking it crazy, 'cos it means they love us. And they'll miss us. And boy will we miss them! Every day, the realisation of the enormity of our move and what we'll leave behind, settles more and more on my soul. And that too, saddens me.

For me, our reasons for leaving are not simple. It's not simply safety and security. Although that does make up a big chunk. Grant has got to a place in his career where he wants to do something new, and yes, he could have done it here, but we've always talked about living abroad. That seed was planted when we got engaged at the top of the Empire State Building in NYC. Back then we thought about spending time living in New York. We ended up living in London for 2 years and we really enjoyed that experience. We did a stint in Johannesburg for 4 years. We know we can do it. We've experienced what it feels like to live away from home. And I guess we have arrived at a time in our lives where we've got to take the plunge now before we're too old, before the kids are too old, before it's too late to realise our plan, and have an adventure.

Our decision is a very personal one. It doesn't suit everybody. Timing is key. Our lives have developed along a path and that path has led us here. It's not every one's idea of a good time. But we've decided to walk this path. And it warms my heart when people are encouraging despite having a heavy heart. We're tremendously sad to be leaving our family and friends here. I don't think we even know how much we'll miss everybody. It's going to be extremely tough.

Change is a funny thing. It shakes things up. It certainly has done that for me. I'm appreciating everything now, everything I took for granted before. I'm looking at everything through eyes that know they won't be seeing things as they have in the past. It affords one clarity. It puts things into perspective. It's scary, and yet quite liberating.

It hurts when I hear 'rather you than me'. But I do understand where it's coming from. I get it, I do.

No comments:

Post a Comment