Desperately Seeking Perfection

Yesterday? Yesterday was a good day. This past weekend? Not so much. Actually, really and truly cr*p!

Here's the story: I was exhausted*. And surrounded by untold mess, chaos and disorder. (This might be a bit of exaggeration right here, but go with me on this one.) And, you guys, disorder makes me stressed. And when I get stressed, I get very grumpy. So at that point I had the grumpy fairy firmly ensconced on my shoulder and she wasn't going anywhere. Not that I made any attempt to shoo her away, mind you. Because by then I'd decided that I was on a mission. A mission to tidy this house.

I'd made a mental list of all the thousands of things that needed doing: the kids' bedrooms needed sorting, I wanted to reclaim the area at the top of the stairs which was overrun by hundreds of jilted kids' belongings that had found their way there; everything would be returned to where it belonged. Calm would be restored, so help me! And I was taking no prisoners. (Read: There was MUCH moaning and I wasn't much fun to be around.)

When we moved here in January, everyone told me that my standards would eventually drop when it came to my housework; that I'd let things slide a bit because I wouldn't be able to do everything perfectly all the time. Well, we've lived here for 11 months now and you know what? I just can't seem to let things go, even a little. My world feels like it's on the brink of collapse if my house does not meet my high standards of cleanliness and tidiness. Okay, yes, I'm a bit of a control freak, I'll admit that. But in my mind, if your house is clean and tidy, the world is a much happier place. Am I wrong? OMG, I sound like a complete idiot!

Anyway, I couldn't help myself and got into such a complete tizz that my body said no! and promptly shut down by giving me a migraine and relegating me to my bed for an entire day. And this was not good timing because we'd invited some new friends over for dinner that evening!

Now you can just imagine what kind of torture it was for me not being able to control the preparations. See? Total control freak! But I physically couldn't do much in that state, so I was forced to step back and let my family do it all. (A huge lesson in letting go.) Even though I was convinced Grant was using the wrong dish for the potato bake and that Jessica was not vacuuming in every little corner and that things would just not look the way I wanted them to look. Geez, I really am a pain in the ar*e!

Most of the time, things are under control and it's all good, but sometimes? When I'm tired. Well, then it all just falls apart. And my poor family gets an earful of moaning about how they don't ever tidy up after themselves and how I'm not their slave. Or something. Yada-yada-yada.

Anyway, we made it through the weekend mostly unscathed. The dinner party went well. And we actually got quite a few chores done on Sunday. We even got to rest for all of about 5 minutes in between all the tidying, sorting and decluttering. Oh well. Maybe next weekend we can relax a bit more.

Note to self: Chill!

* I'll fill you in on the reason for the exhaustion in an upcoming post.


  1. Whew! Glad you got that off your chest:)
    Don't worry, one day they'll have children of their own. :):)

  2. Can totally relate to this one! I cleaned out the car was like a mashup of kitchen stuff, caft stuff and clothes.

    My body is too tired to do anything today, I'm hoping my energy will be restored tomorrow. In-laws coming down at the last minute...must*have*house*in*decent*shape!

  3. I am so glad you are feeling better. :) We need you to carry on blogging and get things off your chest and all your mom and I can do is smile. :):)

  4. Thanks for all the comments, guys. :) I'm loving them. It's good to know you're out there. xo

  5. Grant, you have my sympathy my friend. Strength to you!

  6. I am totally with you on this one. I WILL NOT drop my standards. I may just drop down in exhaustion but I cannot wee on an imperfect toilet or cook in the average Aussie kitchen! No offence, anyone out there. Talk to me in a year from now!!


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